Young People and Mental Health

A special note for World Mental Health Day 2018

By Mridula Apte

A special note on Mental Health Day for youngsters

The theme of the world mental health day this year is ‘mental health and young people’. In my experience with young people, I find them to be focused and ambitious. Most of them are also closely aware of their vulnerabilities. They respect their parents and modify several decisions to suit those of their parents. They want to achieve a lot in professional as well as personal areas of their lives, and they want to do so…. ‘perfectly’ and ‘very fast’!

Life expectancy has increased and the good life has also become better, but the desire to do things beyond oneself and quickly, seems to have led to many anxieties in the younger crowd. The fact that ‘perfect’ is irrational and untrue seems to be overlooked purposefully. ‘Good enough’ is spelled differently, and the need to work adequately depending on the task at hand is no longer true. So whether it is for exams, for a project, for a simple function or for a hobby or a relationship, the quest for perfect is unending.

Some adolescents and young adults manage to work through this well by managing time and prioritizing, while some tend to give up in different ways, sometimes losing meanings in life, and disliking oneself. In all cases, the anxiety remains….

Is this anxiety to become perfect detrimental and why should we worry so much about it. After all, life is all about how much we achieve isn’t it? That is what is encouraged everywhere. It is risky to even mention that one wants to let go of an opportunity or an exam or even a happening party!! One could be judged negatively, and its too much to risk that.

As a psychologist working for more than 2 decades, I would ask you, what would happen if you do let go… and after a series of question answers, you would eventually say-‘I’don’t want to feel bad, feel left out, feel sad. So, is it ‘your’ emotions that you are scared of the most.

Can we take care of them in some other way-by learning how to be more resilient, by learning to tolerate a little unpleasantness, a little distress. We have built skills to see us through competitions, difficult and risky people and circumstances at times, and now we need skills to look after and love ourselves and others without expectations. If we actually manage to do that we will not have to beat ourselves up to look perfect, be great always, and do well at all times. Let us give ourselves the freedom of being human.

The mind /brain is a great and motivated learner. If we decide to train our minds to tolerate some anxiety, we will study and work well with just the right amount of tension which will propel us to perform well…..minus the pressure and worry. We will enjoy and become passionate about what we do, and despite difficult times and bad moods, we will be motivated to have many meanings in our life.

Best wishes, on the occasion of the world mental health day, to this whole new, fantastic and talented young generation to build up their mental strength by trusting and loving themselves instead of worrying about being perfect!